TrickyBuddha Studios

Excuse me while I spew some random, free-flowing thoughts into a post.

A friend of mine sent me a link about writing, saying, “You’re a writer…”, and it kind of caught me off guard. Maybe it’s Tsulian of me to balk at the label but I don’t consider myself a writer.

In the sense that writing is a skill? Yes, and I think I’m pretty good at it. I know the rules, mostly (kind of), and I am capable of following them (when I want). But in terms of writing, as a label, I save that more for the people who live and breathe it, or at least get paid to do it on a daily basis. And even then… I remember shortly after I was hired at BioWare as a Tech Writer, I opened a bank account and they asked me my profession and I felt kind of silly saying “writer”.

It might sound odd for me to say I don’t live-and-breathe writing since I manage a couple web logs, post on forums all over the ‘net, write articles for friends, am submitting a story for (hopeful) publication, and so on — but I don’t.

For me, it’s just a tool to get at other passions. I write on forums to communicate ideas or I write articles to generate discussion. I don’t write about writing. I write about politics. Or sports. Or movies. Or video games. Whatever. I write this journal for my own personal assessment and tracking. I write stories because stories pop into my head that entertain me and I want to share them.

I visit a lot of other writer’s web logs and writing is their “every day”. What’s my every day? I don’t really have a singular passion. I’ve always felt very spread out — but I don’t say that as a self-criticism. It’s the way I like being. I like dabbling in a lot of things, enjoying a lot of things, and being good at a lot of things. I’m capable of specialization, as I’ve shown by my BioWare career (and my Shop n’ Bag career!), but I’m also adaptable to just about any situation.

Where is all this coming from? Just that e-mail? Maybe not. I guess the movie (500) Days of Summer is playing into it. The girl made some comments to the boy about his career path. He wrote greeting cards because he was pretty good at it and was able to make a career out of it. She disapproved because she felt he was wasting his natural talent and his preferred direction. In the movie, it made sense. He wanted to be an architect and was taking an easy, comfortable route — so her advice was warranted. I guess I wondered if I was doing something similar. Do I have a preferred direction? Do I have a specific, natural talent?

I think I could stand to challenge myself more (employment would be a good start) but I don’t personally subscribe to the notion of fate, in that sense. I don’t “belong” somewhere. There are places I’d like to be, but I belong where I am. Maybe I have a natural talent I’m missing out on, but if I don’t have a preferred direction to task that talent, then…

There was a football player, Barry Sanders, who was one of the best running backs of the ’90s. He retired abruptly, at the top of his game. A lot of people, myself included, lamented what could have been. He had already set or had neared many career records and accomplishments. Imagine what more he could have done had he played a few more average seasons. His records would stand for a generation. Maybe longer. Who knows? But the truth is that it’s selfish of us to think that way. He’s not our property, our entertainment. He’s just a guy, finding his way through life. Time is our only currency. You have to do what you want. You have to make yourself happy. Everything else is silly. Is he going to think back on his death bed that he was an awesome football player for 10 years but oh, if he only played 11?

I have visions in mind for where I’d like to go from here and I’m making efforts to get there, but at the same time I would have to say I’m right where I belong and happy about it.